my vagina has a 5:00 shadow
i had the deer in headlights look when she walked in and i was digging in her hamper
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
She just kept introducing me to people by telling them which of their friends I've fucked
And I was chasing apple pie moonshine (provided by cops) with bud light limeys. In a golf cart, wearing a tiara.
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
The fact that I can now puke rainbows on snapchat makes my life that much better
He just brought a live lobster to the party.
You had all day to plan ahead & get mixers, so whose fault is this sobriety?
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
Randomize
