Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
He came inside me, looked me in the eye and said, "Happy Mother's Day"
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
He just told me what he wants for his birthday. "a noise complaint" he also said he wants to be the cause of all the noise but he won't be the one making the noise.
My tuesday consisted of speaking to a federal agent for two hours and watching a roving band of gypsies jump over a fire until 2:30am
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
I just looked down and realized I was walking around in briefs and a ninja turtle shirt; and for a second, I thought I was 8 again... Weird...
Well I mean enduring a 45 minute conversation about C-sections was worth the 9 jello shots those soccer moms gave me.
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
We were having margaritas and I was saying "back when I was drinking..." They looked all confused. Then I realized "holy shit they think THIS is drinking?"
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
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