When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
I walked outside out to find her peeing in her toga with a cigar in one hand and her thong in the other
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
4 random people called me telling me they found him sleeping in the fetal postion on a driveway 45 minutes after we lost him
in the middle of giving him head in the backseat of my car he taps me on the shoulder, opens the door, throws up three times and then proceeds to tell me how amazing i am.
she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
And no one can masturbate with the sound of Bernie's voice in the background
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
Why was I so drunk last night that I licked the bar and then the bartenders face? Why didn't you stop me? We can never go back there.
I hate when pretentious people talk bad ab corn dogs
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
Randomize
