can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
Found an earplug stuck to the inside of my thigh this afternoon. Just how much noise were we making?
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
That was an excessively violent trivia night
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
So for future reference.... it's a little unnerving when I can't get hold of you, and the last communication we had was, "Oh fuck... It's tequila"
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
When we were all out of beer you took a bite out of the cardboard beer box and said "close enough."
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
Randomize
