So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
You sprayed lemon pledge on your crotch because it was "dusty"
I replied to the university automated mass text about the armed robbery at the on-campus Starbucks with a sad face. Basically sums up my night.
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
they won't let me drive with my sombrero
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
FYI: telling a guy his dick is more impressive than you remembered it - they don't take it as a compliment.
I just put fruit snacks in my sangria instead of real fruit. Its like freshman year all over again..
We couldn't afford sangria freshman year. We're lucky we had fruit snacks..
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
I just met a drunk old lady with a bedazzled life alert alarm around her neck. I love casinos
I've struck affair-gold. He's hot, he's ripped, he doesn't want a relationship, and most importantly he won't have to ask Gods permission to bang me like the last religious nut job did.
Randomize
