Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
I have demons in me.
there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
Bonding with my year old cousin over the fact that we both shit ourselves. Babysitting like a bosss
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
Always wear a seatbelt when giving road head. I think I'm just going to tell people I don't remember how I got the fat lip.
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
I just found a live peacock hanging out behind the bar. I coerced it into my car and now I have a peacock bro that lives with me.
This is the most exciting thing since movie theater hand jobs
Randomize
