He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
Any day that starts with a call from my ex-bf... crying... is a good day.
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
I am full of burrito and curiosity
Woke up to 'distilleries' on the history channel. Proceded to vomit all over the floor. Back on the wagon today.
For some reason, my father is not responding to the 5 texts I sent him that all read: "Dad dad dad dad dad dddaadd dddddaaaaaaaaad dad".
So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
I've never had a woman show me her venereal disease results in a bar before.
It's a gateway drink.... Starts with wine... Then I wake up in my car with mascara on my arms covered in french fries...
I will not fill you in on the details until we get back, so do not ask. I got peed on by the girl I was hooking up with last night.
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
Vodka and Jamison is not a mixed drink
Bro i pulled the fucking willy wonkas gold ticket of ratchets the other night this chick was a real treat god bless her
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
Randomize
