He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
I literally stabbed myself so I had a valid reason to get out of having sex with her
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
We need to stop sleeping with people based on which NFL team they like.
This year I'm going to try NOT getting arrested. I think the 30th birthday is the cutoff for calling Mom to bail me out.
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
Nothing like having your house arrest ankle bracelet vibrate and take a moisture sample at the exact moment you're about to blow it in some chick...buzzkill
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
Suffice to say, I think if people ask about your bruises, and you look them right in the eye, and say "they're from fucking...", people would be like, "respect."
I wanted to write an apology letter to my vagina after that.
Randomize
