Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
He showed up to fuck me at the same time the pizza guy did. It was like everything I needed just showed up at my stoop.
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
Discovery: there is a folder in my pictures labeled "Your Name and cats"
He told me was "pretty like the wife in some movie where the husband is a cheater." I think I'm gonna fuck him.
I'm sorry I tried to stab you. I just really wanted those mozerella sticks.
Well, I could just slap my dick to my phone and see what it says
You were crying hysterically
So that's why my heels were in the oven...
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy
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