i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
fell asleep with the bong in the pool, weirdest tan line ever
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
So I dropped $130 while buying shots for an army ranger, got my fake taken, almost went to jail, and came out of my black out when I was talking to the cops with a stolen detour sign in my hands.
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
Discovery: there is a folder in my pictures labeled "Your Name and cats"
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
Drunk Sam makes promises that Sober Sam can't keep
Dude so help me god I WILL weigh a penis one day
You handed me an unpeeled grapefruit off the frat basement floor and then took a bite out of it.
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
i woke up face planted on your ottoman..thanks for letting me sleepover
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