Why did every guy I have ever slept with have to come into the library today?
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.
If it's not soft enough to fuck on, then we're not getting the new rug.
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
Shit. I'm suppose to call the bank but I'm too high to talk numbers.
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
I don't want to ruin date night, but you have no idea how hard it is to poop whilst looking at cute puppies.
Woke up backwards on a recliner
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
My mom just told me I look like darth vader. how's your night?
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
Randomize
