I wish i was in the wii world.
Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
i left because you were standing at the top of the stairs throwing shot glasses and bottles full of alcohol at me and yelling JAGERBOMBS
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
I sobered up in the middle of it, that I was hooking up with him in a rosemary bush. I woke up smelling like a pasta dish
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
And one groomsman rode a suitcase cart like a skateboard until he crashed and took out a piece of sheet rock. Later he pulled out his nuts.
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
Remembering you have vodka in the freezer gives the same surge of happiness as finding 20 bucks in a coat pocket.
She meowed at me. Repeatedly. Then she asked what was wrong with me because I didn't understand her.
Randomize
