I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory
the fact that he forgave me for making out with the bartender is proof that i can fuck my way out of anything.
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
Thanks for the hickies, asshole. I make my living as a fitness instructor. It's gonna look reeeeeeal weird if I have to wear a scarf while teaching Zumba all week.
He bought me a burrito. I introduced him as "Horse-Dicked Jake" all night. My debt has been repaid.
You forget how awesome toilet paper is until you have to wipe your ass with a piece of notebook paper...
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
I was gonna drive but when i tried to use telekinesis to get my keys, I knew I shouldn't be driving
tonight at the bar some people told me that I have a sprit following me around.. that's the kind of shit that you laugh off till you're home alone.
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
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