you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
Wife passed out. Doing shots with the hot bartender... Don't tell me I don't know how to celebrate a 1yr anniversary
I'm pretty sure he told me he was sterile and I told him I was on the pill. The positive pregnancy test I'm holding in my hand right now tells me that at least one of us was lying.
My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
Sex on the scooter in the parking lot wasn't the smartest idea. Actual quote from the cop as he handed me the ticket and fist bumped me.
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
Randomize
