Would it be weird if I brought slabs of bacon with me to the beach?
I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
I'm not upset with you; I'm upset with Fox News.
Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
Poopin on the sidewaaalllkkk. I wish my text told you that was a song
there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
i knew you were okay when you wanted to eat in the ambulance
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
Really dude? drunk texts at 9 in the morning? its wednesday
Randomize
