Rescue me. My white trash great uncle just pulled out his belly at the restaurant to show us how big this woman's tit was
in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
Just warning you now f you do not get intoxicated with me in front of the family on thanksgiving we are not related.
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
I'm worried my skin won't stretch enough to handle this boner. Then what?
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
He just got here and all he's wearing is a cloth over his penis.
I'll uninvite my mom
Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
But I swear to god if I'm awkwardly there while you try to have sex with someone again I'm getting high with your dad
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
Randomize
