i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
i just ate an entire onion plain. all alone. i have never felt more single in my life
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
i'm sick of coming in second next to bourbon.
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
Whore. There is deli meat in my wallet.
He started screaming "fuck me I'm Ryan Gosling" and proceeded to pick up the smallest guy at the party and carry him to bed.
I knew us throwing ourselves at him back in the day would pay off. I'm gonna b a divorcees rebound. Score!
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
Preface: Im drunk. But i think id make a good assasin. That is all.
I had a threesome last night with my fiance' and our soon to be best man. Everyone is surprisingly chill about it this morning. Is this any indication of what the wedding night will be like?
Randomize
