I molested 6 butterflies tonight
I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
Just heard an advertisement for 40 proof chocolate milk. We may never have to grow up
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
all i remember of last night is that i was drinking jameson and then NOTHING i do remember walking a dog though\nwhich is sooo fucking weird
OH MY GOD ITS COMING BACK I PUT THE DOG IN THE HOTTUB TOO
you know, i'm always afraid you're going to think i only want you for sex because i only text you when i'm horny
speaking of, guess what i'm thinking about
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
are you listening to the theme from Jurassic Park whilst pooping?
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