Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
if i died would you start the facebook group?
You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
Ah that type of Dick. I think my phones trying to make me less of a whore by capitalizing Dick. That way it looks like I'm talking about a dude not penis
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
He's my BOYFRIEND but he won't sext me. I'll be like, "tell me how you want to fuck me", and he's like, "I love how we can talk about our feelings". FUCK
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
That falls under the "unwelcome penises" category. Also that's definitely a sentence I never thought I would say
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
Randomize
