Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
youll never guess who i didnt fuck at that party
people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
please dont tell anyone i was drunk
you were publicly making out with a very old very spandex covered woman...they know
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
I drank a girls breast milk at this wedding. Shit was next level
He put his burrito in the bag with his dildo.
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