I love hooters. This dumb bartender is saying how coffee dehydrates you so that's why she sometimes just eats the coffee grinds wake up.
Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
All the good ones are taken. All that's left is the Harry Potter geek or the asshole in the corner. I think I'll settle for Harry Potter.
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
Dude. He put me on a rewards point system for his dick. I have to do him favors now to build up to winning sex. This is shit.
it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?
I know you're having a really bad day and I'm a little to blame for that and I'm sorry. To make your day go better just try to imagine what people's fuck faces look like.
Randomize
