I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
I wish they made helmets for livers.
My parents showed me my IQ test from fourth grade, I'm shitting on my potential.
You don't know the meaning of what the fuck until you wake up naked and alone in someone's bed staring at a dead squirrel on their dresser.
fell asleep with the bong in the pool, weirdest tan line ever
I just found your spare underwear and the half eaten granola bar you left in my purse.
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
the saddest part is, this is not even the first time i've woken up in a shopping cart with a concussion.
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
In what world does 'I'm awake' at 2:30 in the morning on a wednesday translate to 'let's fuck' in the span of one text? Where has the romance gone?
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
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