yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
drunk tastebuds have low standards.
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
I just remembered that I did shots out of a gay mans crotch. And there's someone saved in my phone as "Miranda knows where my car is"
You will go out on a boat of flames filled with honor, sarcasm, and assholery, let me assure you.
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
you told me I was being patronizing because I didn't want you to run barefoot across a construction site
Hope everything goes ok. If it makes you feel better, I straightened vomit into my hair and killed a bird earlier.
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
Randomize
