The guy I fucked in the port a poty just called me and asked me on a date!
Awkward!
No he was cute and I said yes!
Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
My math professor just asked us to draw the graph of the derivative of our drunkenness from friday to sunday. Dear Jesus this looks bad.
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
Gym?
Sweet baby Jebus, no. I'm Motley Crue hungover. This must be how it feels to rail a line of ants.
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
Did we do drunk science last night? There's tequila in the test tubes...
Why let a Christmas Eve hangover ruin a perfectly good Christmas Day acid trip?
I'm worried my dog collar isn't going to come in time. I might be trying on dog collars at PetSmart next week. That could get awkward.
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