Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
There is a newly found video on my phone of me following you to the bathroom to watch you throw up. sorry I didn't hold your hair
When I left you were in the shower in your socks throwing up screaming it was blood but it was "ok" cuz it's recyclable. By the way it was kool aid.
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
How was it playing wingman?
I feel like I was rockys coach watching him get the shit beaten out of him by Apollo creed
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
When I come home and take my bra off and I'm served with a perfect grilled cheese along with a glass of wine. Priceless.
Sitting across the table from one of my high school teachers who hasn't seen me since I was about 16 drinking a beer wearing a leotard
So I woke up this morning to find my laptop open, with a google search for "where to buy marble", and a hungover naked northern girl in my bed who told me that I claimed to be a sculptor last night and that I promised to sculpt a bust of her hands...
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
Randomize
