all i remember thinking as i was puking my intestines out is : wow.. this toilet does look like it's from the future.
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
Fyi when u order four mini bottles of scotch on a 45 min flight. The flight attendants jaw drops to the floor.
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
I may have just unintentionally roofied a man in a wheelchair
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
I'm going to crush up my last 7 Percocets into a fine powder and toss my popcorn in it.
In other news, I just burned my penis
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
Can you see if my straightener is in your refrigerator?
Yes. Its here..
Randomize
