whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
I got vodka in my stocking. Having an alcoholic mom has paid off.
it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
Thanks for not waking me up before the firefighters chopped down my door
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
Just found the cutest bag of coke under my bed. I'm going to get fucked up and bleach the cat vomit out of my sheets.
I'm not so good at organized events that don't revolve around whiskey or playgrounds.
If I pissed all over some chicks bed I would probably apologize for getting so wasted, not putting out, and turning into a god damn R. Kelly Cinderella... Not ask for coffee and a ride home.
At one point I yelled "THIS IS MY PENANCE FOR EVERYTHING I'VE DONE WRONG" and started saying Hail Marys
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
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