i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
I'm at a party watching some dude try to eat a whole package of Oreos in 5 minutes.
And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
please don't text me until you can spell three letter words again.
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
The realization of how permanent those tattoos really were set in this morning... I am SO sorry.
We had him convinced Visine is flammable. He was genuinely freaked out that everyone would know when he was stoned.
In case you're wondering what I'm doing, I'll be banging an 18 year old this weekend. Repeatedly.
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
you asked how they got the microwave in the air. we had to explain three times that it was mounted there until you finally feel asleep
Randomize
