I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
Just left a map of the Aleutian islands on this Eskimo girls face. Check one off my Alaska to do list.
just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
If im paying 4grand for laser eye surgery, it better help with beer goggles cuz last night was pretty rough.
I've really got to stop smuggling half full bottles of beer out of bars in my purse.
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
She had a tattoo on her pelvis that said "it's cock-o-clock" an had clocks and hot dogs exploding away from it. I'd like to tell you it was deal breaker buuuuuuut.......
Just to clarify, I'm still tripping balls
On an unrelated note, I've come up with a theory of everything
Definitely just threw up in a mcds cup going through Wendy's drive thru. I'm way to hungover to go to work today
After you smoke one night. Just whisper in a barely audible voice, "Grey Poupon"
You know you were really drunk last night when you woke up and had someone else's jacket with their car keys and medical marijuana that you wore home from the bar and no sign of your actual jacket.
Dude you where on that lil kids bike at 2 am ridin down the turning lane wearing only socks and a helmet singing born to be wild, no you weren't that fucked up
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
Randomize
