That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
I positioned my bed perfectly so around 10 a.m. every morning there are rays of sunshine coming through the window in my room. Now i can tan while PTFO.
Had a student tell me he misses the old Four Loko. He's in 7th grade. No one is allowed to claim I started drinking too young ever again.
I'm soaked in champagne. I'm eating oatmeal from mcdonalds tonight was glorious
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
I told you in the isle if you get the one that vibrates that I masturbating with it. Your fault.
Bullshit. You owe me a toothbrush.
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
The smoothie place is closed, but the liquor store is open and wine is kinda like a smoothie.
Why is there a business card for people who need bail bonds in my wallet...
I have wine with a bendy straw bitches I can do fucking anything
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