its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
remind me to tell you what i found stuck to me this morning
I'm 99% sure I high fived a girl over mashed potatoes last night
if there weren't so many witnesses I 100% wouldve punted that squirrel
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
Learn from me. Do not smoke cigs and fold laundry in your room. The cigarette will fall into the dresser without you noticing and your shirts will be on fire. Wanna go shopping tomorrow? I need some new shirts.
Moral of the story: next time my plans include you and bourbon, I'm packing a toothbrush.
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
For full disclosure: I told my roommates last night that you have a very clean asshole.
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
So. Um. Hypothetically speaking...how would one get a squirrel out of the house?
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
Randomize
