She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
I was in holding with a guy that got a DUI on a hover round. He was so nice. We're hanging out tonight.
We got a Christmas tree, decorated it to surprise his wife And kids who were out of town for her father's funeral, then fucked like rabbits on their new mattress before he had to pick them up at the airport.
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
Baruch atah adonai DAT ASS DOE
Why did I wake up with BYOB sharpied on my stomach
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
You were just laying there on the air mattress watching spongebob with a knife. We tried to take it from you, but you insisted it was your emergency escape in case you started to float off.
Randomize
