I'm so hungover even the car commercials make me nauseas
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
You're married and I'm going to make out with a stranger tonight. Isn't that weird? It's like a gap in the time space continium.
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
Literally the fucking master of salvaging the possibility of a blow job whilst also crushing somebody's dreams.
My vagina just clenched in fear
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
Randomize
