I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
as evidence of my kitchen this morning my night involved alot of mustard and condoms
You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
Tonight I think I'm going to go out with a french braid so I don't wake up with puke hair. Thoughts?
And your mom thought you weren't even thinking about your future... she would be proud
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
Just remembered someone sprayed perfume in my mouth last night after convincing me it was vodka and that i tried to herd ducks around campus and bring one home.
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
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