i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
Someone should tell Glenda that I only hang with her because she makes me look prettier.
It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
Do you know anything about the Easter basket sitting on my doorstep filled with porn and peeps?
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
I'm pretty sure the bus driver knew how hung over I was and hit all the pot holes on purpose. I threw up into my water bottle.
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
I DONT HAVE THE SOCIAL SKILLS TO EXPLAIN THAT YOU DIED EATING MY PUSSY
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
Dude you were so wasted you thought a fake electric candle was real and tried to light your cig with it. Multiple times.
Totally writing my paper on the toilet. Makes me miss you.
Randomize
