the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
yo - did your mom get a boob job (I think she did)
Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
There are 9 condoms on my bed either i met the greatest girl ever last night or something horrible has happened.
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
Also, last night I had a dream that I was in a victoria's secret fashion show and they made me wear a t-shirt over my lingerie. Spring dieting begins now.
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
Well I'm currently debating between getting toilet paper or getting my eyebrows waxed so... There's that
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
He said I was doing well, so I stopped mid blow job to compliment his grammar. You could say I like intellectuals
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
Ps I took your recycling out, the 9 champagne bottles, vodka bottle, and tequila bottle is how I knew it was yours
Happy hour crawl turned into power happy hour turned into tequila shots turned into I'm drunk in class on Cinco de Mayo at 7 am.
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
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