Get your hand out of your ass!
how did you know my hand was in my ass? Guess where my other hand is..?
In your belly button
I'm telling lies about you to make you look like a good person
I wish I could test you the smell I just had to experience. It smelled like this lady was microwaving squirrel rectum.
Acid is not a monday night drug
I'm eating my dinosaur chicken nuggets in the order they would die in the food chain.
I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
I just couldn't load the family groceries on to the same seat where I had sex 12 hours ago.
FYI, announcing your arrival at jail with "Hi,yes, I'm checking in? I believe I've reserved a bed, a 2 night stay this weekend?" is, in fact, frowned upon
I just dropped a paperclip into my cleavage while talking to the company president... That's an awkward moment.
Did you at least offer to let him get it out??
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
And then you screamed, "I JUST WANNA POUR MAPLE SYRUP ALL OVER HIM AND RAVISH HIS BODY!!"
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
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