No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
Tostitos scoops are the best shotglasses ever. Eat it after as a chaser.
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
I'm seriously gonna die surrounded by a million cats and an unbroken hymen
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
You know you stopped at a liquor store to prepare for a 12-year-old's birthday party, right?
new plan: i think the keg will fit in my purse.
I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
There's glitter in my speakers, piles of cheezits on the floor, a random Audi in the driveway and a homeless dude napping in a lawn chair in the backyard. Wtf happened last night?
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
Randomize
