you guys were way drunker than both of me
Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
He threw a goldfish cracker into my toilet and then proceeded to laugh for 32 minutes. I timed it.
Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
Just getting in the shower.... found a "great job" sticker stuck to my boob.
So how was your night?
i'd say i'm about at weeping-uncontrollably-in-a-puddle-of-my-own-tears-and-urine level
Planning a foam party. Swimsuits are mandatory, and please no granny suits. If you wear a granny suit I will stick you in the corner and put a cone hat on your head.
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
I FLASHED A GUY AT MCDONALDS FOR A FREE BREAKFAST BURRITO. IT WORKED!
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