they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
That's what my new years consisted of. Consoling heartbroken girls and having people throw up in my hands.
Just woke up from a first date on the futon watching Arrested Development by myself, him cuddling another chick in his room. Simultaneously the best and worst one night stand in history.
Bonus: took me 2 hours to get home on the streetcar cause I spent my cab money on drinks for his friend last night.
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
You had me at "let me see your balls"
did i just pee glitter
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
Randomize
