$4 taco and $400 parking ticket. i am not a cheap date.
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
Mother nature decided I wasn't going to be a whore today. Fuck her.
The liquor store was handing out free shots of some new expensive vodka, but they caught on the fourth time we came back in different outfits. Politics.
Mom just posted ur drunk pix from Cancun in the newly made "My not-so-fantastic son" album. Thought you should know.
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
So my roommate and I have a written agreement stating that if he tries to sleep with his ex girlfriend, I have to immediately intervene and nut punch him then send her on her way.
this is the most serious roommate agreement ever
bullshit you weren't drunk, you pointed at me and said my cigarette was empty
Just fantasized about my boss's fingers in a meeting. I desperately need to get some.
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
I just found an entire bag of French fries under the seat of my car labeled "For emergency use only" drunk me is always planning ahead.
Randomize
