Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
OK, the bar's closing. Do I go to home to my wife or my girlfriend?
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
WHY does every guy I sleep with want to fix my car?!
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
Uh, he still talks to you after you basically sexually harassed him using emojis?
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
She drank my rum. I had sex in her bed and didn't wash the sheets. We're even.
Randomize
