Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
my dad brought home flowers.. so i started talking to them
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
We're about to have a bottle rocket fight on jetskis. You have 5 minutes to get on our level.
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
He kept trying to make out with me but I was just trying to show him Shrek memes
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.
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