my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
woke up to 35 texts all saying im cheating on her
me and last nights hook up spent two hr. figuring out a reply we went with i love you..
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
My New Years Resolution is to come up with a new resolution monthly. January: decrease my shotgunning consumption speed to 7 seconds or less.
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
He peed in the bird bath. Those birds are gonna be pissed
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
Tried to put an eye patch on while hooking up with a girl. She was not amused.
I mean, it's just pathetic when the standard is tinder and he can't live up to it.
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
Randomize
