Is it bad that my booty call's snoring was more interesting than the sex we had last night?
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
We went to the police station completely hammered looking for you. Don't tell me I'm not a good friend.
In an unknown location. With a giant marshmallow stuck to my back. Hello breakfast.
yeah i didn't know anyone, but i just walked in with a lit sparkler and wearing a budweiser shirt and someone handed me a beer.
stumbled upon a picture of an owl staring me in the face. i almost offered him a bong hit.
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
I joked that if anyone could fuck a 35 year old woman while wearing head bands and arm sweat bands it's you and look what happens.
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
Can't talk, ducks in the car
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
Randomize
