I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
Penelope Cruz needs to learn American words.
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
She handed me her tooth and asked me to hold it so she could swim.
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
Turns out the dorm toilet can't take a punch. Gonna be a long year without Mexican food.
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
Randomize
