Dual....:-)
I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
I Just paid off the bartender to help me convince this chic my roommate's gay. This is the best cockblock ever.
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
HEAR YE, HEAR YE! BY ROYAL DECREE, I WILL BE KNOCKING ON YOUR DOOR AT 2PM UNLESS YOU GET THE FUCK UP. IT'S 1:50. CIGARETTE TIME, BITCH. I LOVE YOU.
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
I sliced my fucking arm open last night after margarita madness and had to drive myself to the ER. Got six stitches and a social worker came in and asked if I was abused due to my sex bruises. I literally had to tell her "don't worry, I like it rough"
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
I totally just pulled my thong out of my purse at the grocery store. Oops.
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
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