So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
Maury Povich's contact info is in our database at work...i should steal it right?
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
my debit card account is gonna say movie, movie, ice cream, movie, cheese fries, get a fucking life, movie
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
I feel like this is the moment of high where you have to write these texts down to remember to text them and feel that somehow this is important to the continuity of the world.
you know, i'm always afraid you're going to think i only want you for sex because i only text you when i'm horny
speaking of, guess what i'm thinking about
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
I am really drunk and also a zombie.
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