I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
We just started the day with vitamin bombs. Daily vitamin + whatever's left in your glass from last night = feel like a champion
I just can't deal with that sentence
She asked if I could convince him so shave that shit off his face so he'll have a snowball's chance in hell of getting laid.
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
Def just hooked up with my brother's senior prom date in his bed. Does that make me the worst brother ever?
So my mom wants me to come swim with dolphins with my little sisters in October. I'm not sure how to tell her I saw a "when dolphins attack" special when I was rolling and am now terrified of them.
Where are you on a scale from one to wasted?
Like alphabetically I'd say a v
He has a British accent. He could read me the phone book and I would come so hard he would need a wizened old man in a rowboat to save him.
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
There comes a point where there's just condoms and old mcdonalds in your garbage can and you can't tell if you've won or lost.
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
Will you PLEASE get your mom to stop telling me I'd make a great husband? She knows I'm gay, right?!
I know, but she really likes you. Have you met my brother yet?
Randomize
