We walk out of his house and his dad is there, so I had to meet him and shake his hand pretending that same hand hadn't been down his son's pants five minutes earlier
i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
I'm a fake celebrity on twitter. I need a life.
Just saw a girl leaving CVS on her bike with a case of beer. She tried to ride one handed with the case under her other arm and fell over off the sidewalk. I'm glad to see someone else's life is a bigger joke than mine.
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
Don't forget to grab a pregnancy test and sloppy joe mix for tonight
If you're gonna show up unannounced on hangover day, you better have coffee doughnuts and a boner
I have peed in a lot of sinks
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
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