Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(216): View more from Ohio

ok i said sorry. what else do you want?

(740): View more from Ohio

100 blowjobs

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(734): View more from Michigan

Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...

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(219): View more from Indiana

Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt

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(609): View more from New Jersey

I gave an inspirational speech to a bum and called a bride ugly at her wedding reception.

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(603): View more from New Hampshire

YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN

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(724): View more from Pennsylvania

She bent over while grinding on me on the dance floor and her thong straps were hanging out, I thought it was a good idea to grab the straps with both hands and pretend to be riding in Santa's sleigh...not my brightest moment.

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(480): View more from Arizona

The site I use to study flash cards keeps showing ads for truck companies hiring drivers. It's like the site is saying "hey, we all know there's no hope for you, just give up and Become a truck driver."

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(734): View more from Michigan

Margaritas just taste better when they're bigger than your head

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(773): View more from Illinois

Dude I can't beleive you didn't wake up. I literally f'd her IN THE DISHWASHER. Btw I'm pretty sure I also kinda broke the dishwasher.

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